Please don’t get mad with me. I’m just writing what they told me to say. It is their turn, after all. Might even save somebody’s relationship.
Top 5 Reasons Why Real Men, Good Men, Men Who Really Don’t Want to Cheat, Might Still Do It Anyway
1. Because They Want to Stay Married
I had a hard time with this one, but like I said, I’m just presenting the raw data. And just because I’m going to attempt to explain this foolishness doesn’t mean I agree. Okay? Okay.
Picture this. Wife never stops complaining. She yells every Sunday when he’s watching football because she wishes he would wash her car or cut the grass instead. Her period is on for what seems like 27 days out of the month. She has gotten extremely comfortable in the relationship and refuses to come out of sweat pants and head scarves. Even her Sunday meals have been reduced to hamburger helper and she forgets to shave her legs (and other parts) more often than not. Because her kids are under the age of five, she is chronically sleep deprived and always falls asleep before he can join her in bed.
But he loves her.
Lucy, on the other hand, looks great every day of the week. She stays neat and fresh, never complains, is always in a good mood, loves to fry chicken and pork chops, and has grown children (or none at all) and is never tired. She enjoys watching football and has her own lawn man. All she wants is some night-time company every now and again.
He doesn’t love Lucy, but he sure does like her a lot. And when he visits Lucy, he comes home happy. Lucy even inspires him to wash his wife’s car and finally cut that tall ass grass. Which makes his wife happy.
2. Because the Opportunity Exists (And Facebook Does Too)
He didn’t go looking for that ex-girlfriend from college. She’s the one who sent him the damn friend request. Then he saw that picture on her timeline and didn’t remember her body looking like THAT (but BTW—you too can purchase a new butt in Atlanta very easily. Plastic surgeons are as common as barber shops and hot wing stands).
It’s a fact that most people, by nature, are opportunists. We’re biologically hardwired to get as much as we are able. It takes a certain level of maturity and spiritual awareness to realize that quality is much more satisfying that quantity.
3. Because They Need Validation Just Like Us
Remember Lola and Leroy? Lola wanted to remember that she was a woman. Leroy couldn’t remind her. So enter Jody, stage left.
This time, Leroy needs to feel like he’s more than an ATM, a toy soldier, a car, an employee, hell—Santa Claus. He wants to be called big daddy. Lola only calls him Leroy. He always hated that name. Enter Lucy, stage right.
4. Because Some Women Allow It
Standards have dropped to impossibly low levels in 2015. Men no longer have to marry, court, romance, call, or even be nice to some women in order to have sex with them. There are a few desperate, lonely ladies who are sure to break them off properly anyway. Long ago was the era when the stank breath, the unchivalrous and the scrubs were discriminated against. Because of a few sisters, there are equal opportunities out there for everyone.
It’s sort of like the real estate market. At one point, everybody’s house in your neighborhood was going for full market value. Then your neighbors’ homes started foreclosing. Next thing you know, you can’t sell your own house because all potential buyers want to know why they should pay you twice as much as what the house next to you costs.
5. Because The Testosterone Made Them Do It (aka Why Must I Be Like That Why Must I Chase the Cat?)
He didn’t mean to. It just happened. For real though.
Stay prayed up, everybody.